BB15 Houseguests Make Jeremy McGuire Jokes
|Big Brother 15 HGs make Jeremy McGuire jokes, Chuck Norris style|
Before they went down we had a morning of houseguests capping on those who've been evicted. The funniest jokes were made about Jeremy McGuire, (between 10-11AM), and the houseguests told them "Chuck Norris" style. Here's a handful of them:
Spencer - "Did you all ever hear about the time Jeremy built a two-story house with several glue sticks and notebook paper?"
"One time he ate an apple, in one bite."
GinaMarie - "I think one time he saved 5 children from a burning building."
Andy - "He was telling me that one day driving down the street and a deer ran out in front of his car and he reached out the window and picked the deer up by it's collar and threw it on the side before he could hit it."
GinaMarie - "...while getting a BJ at the same time!"
McCrae - "He was driving down the road one time and there was little kids playing in the road and he didn't see them, but at the last moment he swerved, then he hit this person and it turned out to be a murder, psycho rapist. He was awarded....a hero."
Spencer - "The time he was driving and listening to the radio and there was several school children across the street and he didn't see them. He couldn't serve because the line of children were too long so he just grabbed the wheel and jerked up on it and ramped 'em..."
Spencer - "One of my favorite stories is when he met that kid, Anthony Hawk, and taught him how to skateboard."
Spencer - "Remember the time Jeremy picked up a rock and threw it up in the sky and hit an eagle and killed it? And he didn't get in trouble because he's Native American. He has a special license."
Spencer - "Remember when NASA brought him in to test experimental spacecraft and he said no, he don't do pu$$y sh*t."
McCrae - "They also brought him in to fix Apollo 13..."
Spencer - "That time that Jeremy McGuire was going skydiving and his parachute didn't open...he wasn't going to give up. so he just started flapping his arms."
GinaMarie - "His back tattoo became an actual dragon.."
McCrae - "The time Jeremy McGuire found Osama through Google Maps."
Judd - "Jeremy was at a fiesta one time and he said that everyone was disappointed they didn't have a damn pinata. So he swallowed a bunch of Skittles whole and let them beat the sh*t out of him."
Spencer - "We were talking about BP...I remember how they fixed it. Jeremy McGuire is the single breath, solo deep diver. He just took one breath and fixed it. It's too dangerous to swim with tools so he had to bend metal and patch holes with his bare hands."
Andy - "Didn't he only use one hand, I thought his hand was broken?"
Spencer - "No his bones cant be broken. He only used one hand because he said that's all he needed...he was texting people, taking selfies..."
Do you have any Jeremy McGuire jokes you'd like to add?