8.14.2013

Big Brother 15: Amanda and McCrae's Wedding Recap

Big Brother 15 Amanda and McCrae Wedding
BB15: Amanda and McCrae's Wedding Day, doesn't she look thrilled?
Here's a recap from the Big Brother 15 live feeds of Amanda and McCrae's "wedding" which was just, uh...weird. Amanda threw fits beforehand, because people didn't get ready fast enough, and because Big Brother didn't give her extra alcohol for the "event".

10:10PM BBT: Amanda's pissed everyone is taking so long. She's screaming her head off about Big Brother not giving her more than one bottle of wine. She jokes about being a Bridezilla, but she is absolutely one despite this being a "fake" wedding. She yells at the other houseguests, and at Big Brother for not having enough alcohol. Helen gets called to the diary room.

"What is taking so long?!" Amanda is impatient. F-bombs are flying.

10:15PM: GinaMarie was pissed that she got the fitted sheet. She finally makes it work and whips it into a dress she deems acceptable. She is NOT happy about the fitted sheet though...

Big Brother 15 Amanda McCrae Wedding McCranda
BB15's GinaMarie in her sheet dress
10:18PM: Amanda's still having a complete conniption fit. "One bottle of wine? Where's the rest of the f-ing alcohol, Im pissed!"  She's SCREAMING like a banshee. Soon after she says, "Thank you CBS, thank You BB!" sarcastically. She's yelling at Big Brother for not giving them more booze. It's a HUGE DEAL to her.

Big Brother 15 Wedding Amanda McCrae
Amanda is more than ready for her sham wedding
10:23PM: Wedding begins. Houseguests hum the wedding song and the bridezilla comes down the aisle. Andy says he's going to read some selections, chosen by the groom, from The Holy Bible. Let's color his font purple...

Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Proverbs 12:4 "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."


Big Brother 15 Amanda McCrae Wedding 2013
McCranda's wacky wedding

Then Andy reads from Genesis 19:30 - 19:34:

"Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. One day the older daughter said to the younger, 'Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children--as is the custom all over the earth. Let's get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father. That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. The next day the older daughter said to the younger.."

Amanda interrupts. "Wait, this is so inappropriate!"

Big Brother 15 Wedding Amanda McCrae BB15
BB15 Wedding Bridesmaids
Andy continues:

"'Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.' So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter...."

10:27PM BBT: Amanda interrupts again. "Okay, stop, stop!" Everyone snickers. Andy says, "It was a request from the groom." Andy tries to find his place. Amanda asks McCrae, "Are you shaking?"

"Yeah," responds McCrae.

"Are you nervous?" probes Amanda.

"Yeah!"

Andy continues with his sermon.

"Genesis 3:16. To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

"That's why I'm Jewish," says Amanda.

1 John 3:18. "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."

"That was a cute one," says Amanda, not fully grasping the HINT McCrae may have been giving her with this particular selection. The other verses may have been jokes, but this one seemed to have had deeper meaning to McCrae.

"Alright, do you want me to get my speech now?" asks Andy. (Where's Lawonderful when you need him?)

"So everyone, we have been in the Big Brother house for 52 days. Amanda and McCrae have known each other for roughly that length of time, and coming in 52 days ago.."

Helen interrupts. It's 54 days. They decide on 54. Andy continues again...

"54 days ago when we all walked into the Big Brother house a couple met. And when they met, who knew that true love was gonna spark? A blonde surfer and a Texan with a fiery attitude sparked what would be the sweetest romance of the season. Sadly, that romance was cut short after 13 days when David was evicted. After that, I guess the second best couple, or whatever, started canoodling, got a little bit closer and that was Amanda and McCrae.

They've been through a lot of rough patches, I mean, they've watched as Jeremy drank all the Have Not chocolate milk, they listened to, they were crushed, when they heard of the secret alliance consisting of Spencer, GinaMarie, Judd, Howard and Kaitlyn, which ultimately led to Kaitlyn's demise from the house. They sat and worried about Howard's schemes that proved to be non-existent. They pondered who had the The Coup d'Etat, when, in fact, that is not a power that has been used in at least 5-years. They went through thick and thin together..."

"Cherry on top when McCrae beat her in the banana split challenge," Elissa chimes in. (That one made me laugh.)

"Oh, perfect Elissa, thank you for bringing forward that wonderful memory," jokes Andy.

"And so, but, through thick and thin, they have done one thing and that is love each other. And so, 54 days in this house and their love is as strong as it has ever been and I would just like to get a round of applause for the SECOND BEST COUPLE in this season of Big Brother."

Everyone applauds. Andy asks what to do next. Vows.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered today to witness the marriage of Amanda and McCrae. Amanda, I would like at this time to give you the chance to speak your vows to McCrae."

"Okay," says Amanda. "I wasn't prepared for this. Okay. McCrae, I vow to stand by you, and align next to you, through Have and Have-Not, through sickness and in health, through showers, cold and hot, and through nipple slips and nut slips. I vow to be your Big Brother wife in this house,  and eventually, maybe one day, outside. I LOVE YOU."

McCrae does not return the I love you, but he does have his vows...

"Amanda, who would think that crazy pizza boy from Minnesota, don't have much going for him, and crazy Jewish girl from Florida, Long Island, Boca...yeah, I mean, there's been ups and downs, but, always gonna be there for ya, trust you always, and uh, love ya always.. You know, friends at my house, Jessie and Adam and Dan B------, you know they always tell me that, gotta go with your heart, that's what I'm doing, also LoungeTownPodcast.com, and Mary ---- always told me, love thy wife that loves thee...and that's you, baby."

"Amanda, do you take McCrae to be your lawful wedded husband," says Andy. Aaryn reminds them they need rings. "This is a long ceremony," Helen jokes.

"So Amanda, do you take McCrae to be your lawful wedded husband, and if you don't the entire house will be coming after you next week."

"I do," says Amanda.

"McCrae,  do you take Amanda to be your lawfully wedded wife and if you don't the entire house will be coming after you next week."

"I do," says McCrae. Amanda reminds Andy of the rings again. She says he did it wrong, and tells him what to say.

"Amanda, please repeat after me, with this ring, I thee wed." 

Amanda repeats it. Andy continues. He tells McCrae to repeat him.

"With this ring, I thee bed."

"With the power vested in me, and because Elissa sucks, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the groom."

They kiss. Helen speaks as the mother of the groom and has them unite their "Big Brother sand".

"I'm proud to introduce, Mr. and Mrs. Olson!"


Big Brother 15 Wedding Amanda McCrae, Wedding Cake
BB15 Amanda McCrae Wedding "Cake"
They makes sleazy toasts, they cut the cake. And wouldn't you know it, by 10:55PM they are talking about anal. Happy Big Brother 15 wedding, y'all.

2 comments:

  1. It was all in good fun and quite entertaining.

    ReplyDelete