BB15 Houseguests: My Snarky First Impressions

BB15 Houseguests First Impressions
BB15 Houseguests - do you agree with my first impressions?

Lawd have mercy. It's my favorite part of the BB15 season - the part where we try and guess the personalities of each BB15 houseguest.

My first impressions are usually a little bitchy, always completely honest, and either spot on - or totally wrong. But that's the fun of it. Since I'm no longer at SuperPass, I feel I can be much more unfiltered this season, so expect to see a cattier me for BB15.

As a whole, I'll say the cast is a young, beautiful, hairy one. The women are especially beautiful, I mean, every single one of them is gorgeous. You know what that means . . . lots of catfights! The strongest personalities are women, and mark my words, this will be the season where the ladies own the Big Brother 15 house.

So here we go, let the Big Brother 15 madness begin. Here is how I am going to break it down:
  • Who do they remind me of?
  • What should I nickname them?
  • Pros/Cons
  • What will they be known as/for?

BB15 Houseguests Nick

Reminds Me Of: Dan Gheesling of Big Brother 14, Walter White Jr., 
Nickname: Eddie Haskell
Pros: I'm pretty sure he's crazy, and crazy is good in the BB15 house.
Cons: His voice sounds exactly like BB14 Shane, he's overconfident, will play too hard too soon.
Most Likely To: Be Mr. One-Upper, annoy the females. He's already annoying the shit out of me.

BB15 Houseguests Spencer


Reminds Me Of: Adam of Big Brother 13, Yukon Cornelius
Nickname: Gruff
Pros: Everyone will like him.
Cons: Everyone will use him.
Most Likely To: Be the house bitch - clean up after people.

BB15 Houseguest Jessie

Reminds Me Of: Mikayla Wingle and Natalie Tenerelli of Survivor. (Gee, you think CBS casting agents have a certain "look" they like?)
Nickname: Buttchin
Pros: Genuinely nice, probably loyal to a fault.
Cons: No confidence, naive.
Most Likely To: Be used and abused by the alpha-female bitches in the house.

BB15 Houseguest Kaitlin

Reminds Me Of: Tara from Sons of Anarchy
Nickname: Stealthy
Pros: Will be good at comps, sneaky.
Cons: Hasn't watched much Big Brother.
Most Likely To: Be passive aggressive.

Reminds Me Of: Eddie Munster, a bad Elvis impersonator
Nickname: Chops
Pros: It'll be fun watching the chicks shoot him down.
Cons: His ego will get in the way of his gameplay.
Most Likely To: Try to get laid, be a stank douchetwat.

Reminds Me Of: Neither Julie Chen or Jun Song of Big Brother 4! Are you shocked?
Nickname: Whiplash
Pros: Is animated, energetic.
Cons: She stepped up in that motherf---er just a swingin' her hair.
Most Likely To: Not STFU.

BB15 Houseguest Elissa

Reminds Me Of: Charo
Nickname: 2.0
Pros: Likely to bring the drama, she's a Reilly.
Cons: Likely to bring the drama, she's a Reilly.
Most Likely To: Be the one production tries to keep in the game.

BB15 Houseguest Amanda

Reminds Me Of: Renee Graziano, JoJo from Big Brother 14.
Nickname: Cans
Pros: Won't take sh*t attitude.
Cons: Her sexuality will work against her.
Most Likely To: Be the seductress.

BB15 Houseguest Candice

Reminds Me Of: The snob you couldn't stand in high school.
Nickname: Me-me
Pros: She'll give good DR
Cons: Has crazy eyes.
Most Likely To: Freak the funk out if she gets put on slop, spend the most time in front of the mirror.

BB15 Houseguest McCrae

Reminds Me Of: Eddie Vedder's 90s hair
Nickname: Spliff
Pros: Super likable, is a Big Brother live feeder
Cons: Too nice?
Most Likely To: Be the girl's plaything.

BB15 Houseguest Judd

Reminds Me Of: A younger Joe from Big Brother 14.
Nickname: Beerbong
Pros: He'll be the class clown of the bunch.
Cons: I think he'll struggle to find a solid alliance.
Most Likely To: Hog all the alcohol in the house, not wash his hands before preparing food.

BB15 Houseguest Howard

Reminds Me Of: Ray J, minus the sex tape.
Nickname: Smoove
Pros: Will be a smooth talker
Cons: Will lack deviousness needed to go  far in the game.
Most Likely To: Try and align with the ladies.

BB15 Houseguest GinaMarie

Reminds Me Of: Dirrty Aguilera
Nickname: Fireball (her attitude, her choice of shots)
Pros: She's batshit crazy.
Cons: She tries too hard to show how tough she is.
Most Likely To: Talk like a dude while she's grabbing her balls.

BB15 Houseguest David

Reminds Me Of: Spicoli, Frank of Big Brother 14
Nickname: Pigpen
Pros: His hygiene habits, or lack thereof, will give us something to bitch about.
Cons: Smart as a bag of hair.
Most Likely To: Be caught whacking off on the live feeds.

BB15 Houseguest Andy

Reminds Me Of: Texas Ranger Bobby
Nickname: Goober
Pros: Non-threatening
Cons: Lacks confidence
Most Likely To: Get all jacked up on Mountain Dew.

BB15 Houseguest Aaryn

Reminds Me Of: Jordan from Big Brother 11 & 13
Nickname: Kitty
Pros: Her beauty will take her far.
Cons: The women will be jealous of her.
Most Likely To: Be the cat lady favorite, duh.

Order the BB15 live feeds and see what they don't show on TV!

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